Child Abuse Is My Culture
For the purpose of this article, child abuse is used in the African context which suggests that inflicting pain on a child is discipline. Before I go on, I advise that if you don’t have an open mind or take criticism lightly, you best stop reading.
Eventually, every society evolves and discards practices that are inhumane and deprives someone else of dignity. Sadly, sometimes this may take several generations and a lot of awareness to happen. No matter the angle you approach it, inflicting any form of pain on a child, also known as corporal punishment to get compliance out of that child is simply abuse, that more often than not leaves scars which are not all physical.
Most parents do not intend to harm their children in the process; but instead, believe it is the most effective discipline strategy. Sometimes, you can’t really blame them because the continuance of this practice is as a result of the misinformation, ignorance, and myths that it is shrouded with. Now, let’s bust some of those myths and try to analyse these misconceptions below.
(1) It is my culture argument
By now, I am sure most people have heard the story of Mary Slessor, the missionary to former Eastern Nigeria who worked to raise awareness and stop the killing of twins. Ever since then, several African cultures like female circumcision and forms of abuse on the female child have been stopped because of the introduction of education and awareness. Change is never an easy process especially change of culture, but we all have to objectively analyse every culture, weigh the pros and cons to justify its existence. Several studies have shown that corporal punishment is ineffective in the long term and causes more harm than good.
(2) It is an effective form of discipline
Yes, corporal punishment such as flogging is effective in the short term, but it eventually loses its touch. A child is taught to distinguish from good and bad with fear of pain, and more often than not, the child is not taught how and why to make these right decisions. Several studies have shown a direct link between physical abuse of a child and worsening negative behaviours of that child; these children tend to have an increased tendency to solve problems with aggression and are more prone to develop certain undetectable illnesses. There are several other proven methods to discipline a child that will leave the parent guilt-free and the child damage (physical or mental) free. As a parent or parent-to-be, it’s your responsibility to educate yourself and end the cyclical nature of abuse.
(3) The religious argument of “spare the rod and spoil the child”
Some parents defend their actions by simply referring to the bible as some form of moral high ground. Interestingly, the phrase “spare the rod and spoil the child” is not contained anywhere in the Bible; instead, it was written by one sick poet and as we say, the rest is history. The closest passage to this is found in Proverbs 13:24 which says:
“He that spareth his rod hateth his son; But he who loves him chasteneth him betimes.”
As most people should know, a whole lot of the bible was written in parables used to illustrate a point and as such should interpret it metaphorically. What the bible in essence proposed is that if you love your child, then you discipline them not necessarily proposing a particular means.
